We don’t do Elf on the Shelf. This isn’t a bashing Elf on the Shelf post (I don’t think). Neither is it an ” I wish we…..” or “how couldn’t I…” or “why would you….” although you will probably believe by the time you are done that the latter statement is on my mind. It truly isn’t. I am just glad *I* don’t deal with Elf on the Shelf.
We don’t do the whole Santa thing so it really would make no sense for us to do Elf on the Shelf either. Really, what would be the point? “Elf’s watching you because….” Yeah, how would I finish that one? Elf sounds like it could be a great deal of fun (maybe?) and gets moms thinking creatively (too creatively?) but it overwhelms me.
Today, the day after Thanksgiving, I have seen several panicked “I can’t remember where ***insert Elf’s name*** got stashed.” All week leading up to this week actually, has been filled with Elf chatter. “What do you do with YOUR Elf?” “Do you do Elf on the Shelf?” “Do you move Elf?” “Does your Elf do pranks?” On and on. Frankly I was tired of Elf before it was even time for him to make his yearly debut.
Now bring on the onslaught of Pinterest posts regarding Elf. The one-ups involving Elf. The “I forgot to move Elf”, “I had to clean up Elf’s prank mess”, “Elf fell off the shelf and broke his neck or ended up in the bath tub or got dragged off by the dog”. I’m tired already and I don’t have an Elf.
I already feel like a failure at motherhood enough. I’m not crafty, I don’t stop every 10 minutes to read stories, we don’t do many (any?) crafts. Good grief, I’m lucky if I washed my hair and changed out of my yoga pants that haven’t been washed in too many days into a pair of jeans. And a toothbrush? Oh yeah, back up the stairs I go. Laundry needs washed, recipes need tried, dinner needs cooked – and breakfast and lunch. House needs cleaned, kid needs dropped off and picked up from preschool, and 2 kids need 5 hours of homeschooling a day. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR ELF? Let alone remembering to move elf every so often, then making up stories for why he didn’t move or why he really is watching you even if you were outside and he was inside. Scratch being tired. I’m exhausted and I haven’t even gotten to Elf playing any pranks. Forget him switching clothes to different drawers or closets. Forget flour on the floor, or cookies baked for breakfast. Forget it ALL. I don’t have time for Elf and I am so very glad he didn’t visit my house.
Now, more power to you if you do Elf. Have fun with your stories, finding new lookouts and sweet memories you make with your kids. I know someday they will look back with fond memories of their mom or dad (who they eventually figure out is the elf mover) and remember the fun you had with Elf. Someday one of them will most likely take “old” Elf and do the same things with their kids, passing down a family tradition.
I’m just glad I don’t do Elf on the Shelf because I already know I would fail miserably at it. It just isn’t me.
Still don’t know who Elf is? Check out him/her out here – Elf on the Shelf.