Yes, I home school. I didn’t know it was a secret but there are apparently quite a few people in my life who don’t realize this. Guess I have done a fairly good job of not complaining about the drudgery that can be involved. Guess I haven’t done enough rejoicing in the things I love about it either.
I never planned to home school. In fact, as a home schooled teenager I still hear the times I vehemently announced I will NEVER home school. Actually, I went into my first “get to know you” home school co-op meeting and said, “I planned to never home school and I don’t want to do it.” I don’t remember who was there and I wonder if any one really remembers that but it was awfully silent after I announced that. See my blog title “Keeping it Real”? Yeah, that’s what it’s about. Me, being blunt, being real, even when it probably isn’t cool.
Well, school ended less than 60 days ago but who is keeping track? Me, I guess. I heard some crazy thudding and scraping outside my door today. Scared the daylights out of me but I decided to open the door anyway. Sheesh, could have been an axe murderer or whatever, right? Phew, it wasn’t. It was just the poor UPS guy who got lucky enough to get to deliver my kids’ school year’s worth of text books and supplies today, in the pouring rain. I really wouldn’t have blamed him if he pretended they weren’t on his truck and waited until tomorrow. It was yuck outside.
But now they are here. For me to deal with. For me to face the facts. School starts in just a few weeks. I’m not ready. I never will be ready. See, some days I would love to wave goodbye as that big yellow bus disappears from view. I imagine I could get an awful lot of things done with my suddenly freed up time but that isn’t my life.
Really, that’s okay. I do love getting to be a part of my kids’ education. I love that I’m their mom AND their teacher. I love that I know that I am doing what is the absolute best for these children of mine. The children who don’t fit in any one’s boxes. I love that I can bring school to them in front of them through their computer screens and I can take anything I feel the school system is lacking and make it better. Call me a control freak but there you have it. This is what is best for MY family, and I am willing to sacrifice for that. I am willing to fight for it and go crazy over it ’cause you know what? Some days that is just how I feel – crazy. And that’s okay, because it’s real.
So, what’s staring at me? THIS. This right here. The boxes my son wanted to open….and start school right now – TODAY. But I’m not opening them. Because I’m not ready and my house isn’t ready, and my brain isn’t ready…..
…and no one is gonna make me!