“Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same.” Relationships, jobs, home address – things are always changing in life. As adults change is hard enough but for children is can be even more daunting as their minds cannot see to another side – the side where it could bring good…someday. This last month I have been walking through my daughter’s struggle with preschool nearing an end. The biggest change she has gone through is moving and in that move there was no downside for her – no lost friends, no change in church, etc. but still she struggled. This is her first REAL big change in having to say goodbye. She is finally starting to wrap her brain around the fact that her teacher needs to move onto a class of new pre-k students and that her classmates will now scatter out into different schools but she is struggling to be okay with that.
This week is a difficult one for her as today is her last day of class and Wednesday is their big celebration program. Her little heart is breaking but there is nothing I can do but hug her close and remind her it is going to be okay. Nothing I can do but show her that all her classmates are going on to different things, not together but separate. She won’t be the lone student “missing”. Nothing I can do but show her her teacher needs to prepare other children for kindergarten.
Life’s about changing and sometimes we need to just walk them through that pain. We need to listen to their tears, the things they feel, the things they think. Sometimes we need to understand their thoughts to understand what we can “fix” like her thoughts that her teacher and classmates would be working together next year without her. Then we need to just hold them and love them and walk them through the change, letting them grieve what they are losing while teaching the beauty of what lies ahead.
Nothing ever stays the same and as much as we would like to protect them from all hurts and pain, life’s reality is there will be change and it will hurt but we can get through it. Our job as mom or dad is to take the change and help them grow, not protect them from it but strengthen them through it. Sometimes it all starts when you are 5 and leaving preschool.
Just know, it’s okay to cry for their hurt and pain too because change DOES hurt. So while I sit here and cry I leave you with a song that I came across as a teenager and has stuck with me through many changes – How Can I Help You Say Goodbye – Patty Loveless.
Today I am linking up with Barb at A Life in Balance for Motivation Monday.