Broken Blender Smoothies {Dairy free}

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I hid that kale WELL. I threw an extra large amount of kale into the kids’ smoothies today. My secret is BLUEBERRIES. 1 cup of blueberries makes the kale go down. But that obviously answers none of your questions about this weirdly named post. I’m feeling a bit random this morning so it will all come out eventually. This is a bad week for me. Every year it’s a bad week. It starts on July 6 or 7 and ends July 14/15. It is what it is. I can’t change the past. I can’t change the future. Of course there is nothing that could make it worse but yeah, yeah actually, there is.

I went to make smoothies this morning and my blender has been slowly going. It wasn’t the best blender for what I needed it for anyway, and it is only the plastic ring on the blender, which I can replace for a whopping $15 at Wal Mart, maybe cheaper on Amazon. But that isn’t the point. The point is IT BROKE. It broke in the middle of my fantastic smoothie being made for FOUR. FOUR! 3 kids and ME! Except it broke before there was enough for me. My goal was to make this blender last until I could afford a Vitamix but alas it isn’t so and I keep hearing that “woh-woh-woh” sound in my head. I sure hope you know what I mean because I can’t figure out how to spell that annoying sound.

So if we look at the positive side, there was at least enough smoothie made to give 3 children. I mean, that is a positive because otherwise I have to figure out what else to make for breakfast and I really don’t feel like doing that. I can skip, but children, well, they are annoying like that. They.must.be.fed. Preferably 10 times a day. (Please note, I have no issues feeding my children. That was humor. I don’t starve my kids.)

There go MY dreams. You know, this morning I was looking forward to actually sitting on my patio with a beautiful smoothie, enjoying the sounds of nature. Oh wait, that was a nail gun, fighting crows, and screaming squirrels. Who knew squirrels could scream, er, scold?! But really, my patio is a haven. The container garden is growing well with lots of green, if little, veggies, and the air is clear and not humid for once. It’s gorgeous! But there goes my morning. The blender….my morning patio breakfast….I think I’ll stay inside for today. Maybe sit on the couch and do nothing since who knows what else will go wrong.

But first, I stole my kid’s smoothie for a few minutes and sat outside to at least pretend my morning was going my way. “We’ll always have Paris.” I’ll always have the picture. Someday I will forget the morning but remember that I sat out on a beautiful summer morning, drinking my smoothie….until I read this. But hey, at least I can give you a recipe built for two (adults).

Dairy-Free Blueberry Kale Smoothies

Print Recipe

• Author: Heather L McCurdy
• Prep Time: 5 minutes
• Total Time: 5 minutes
• Yield: 2 servings 1x

Ingredients

Scale 1x2x3x

• 1 cup kale – packed down so you can fit a lot in
• 1 cup blueberries
• 2 cups watermelon
• 1/8–1/4 cup coconut water – I used mango

Instructions

1. Put the kale in the blender first, add the liquid and blend until fine.
2. Add the rest of your fruit and blend until smooth.
3. Makes 2 adult sized smoothies or 3 kid sized.
4. If prepping ahead of time, add a little extra liquid right before serving as these smoothies thicken up if left sitting.

More Smoothie Recipes:

Pineapple, Strawberry, Banana Smoothies

Cucumber Apricot Smoothies

Disclosure: This post may include Amazon affiliate links to help run this blog.

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